Who’s lighting all those damn candles in video games?

Who’s lighting all those damn candles in video games?

ESPECIALLY in Mortal Kombat, and I love me some MK, but unless if there’s a stage fatality where I can knock your ass out into a labyrinth of scented candle wax (I bet Shao Kahn is a fan of honeysuckle), then WHAT is the point? WHO is lighting these candles? Baraka? Goro with his four arms? He IS a prince, maybe he just likes the way they highlight his features. Why?! Agnello’s thread reads:

— Anthony John Agnello (@ajohnagnello) May 12, 2021 Who the fuck is lighting all these candles? pic.twitter.com/b8lOVbpjma

Agnello proceeds to write an entire thread full of examples of games that have miles upon miles of candles to create an appropriately moody atmosphere. From the Souls series to Mortal Kombat, candles are just… there. Hey. Video games.

Next time I walk into some ULTRA SPOOKY BOSS FIGHT, and there are 8000 candles at varying levels of meltiness, I am out. I’ve had it. God. Except you, Castlevania. You’re fine. I love you. Please come home. Do you think I’m stupid, video games? Do you think I’m not going to wonder about who’s going out of their way to light literally hundreds of candles in drafty tombs, caves, and ancient fortresses? Well fuck you, video games. I’ve had it.

Don’t come at me with that, “Oh it was the enemies, they wanted to get the ambience right.” Horse shit. Those enemies are in life and death situations, they’re not taking the time to light a god damn Cialis commercial. These candles are in improbable places. Who the hell had the time to light all these candles, video games? You? Bullshit.

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